“And they came, with silver skin & flashing hair, eyes glinting with cold metallic mercy. A virus of lust had been downloaded & they had gathered to run the program… They came to dent fenders, to overload circuits, to liberate black oil thick like blood… It was the beginning of the CyborRevel”
NOT TO BE MISSED: the first College Night of 2008, hosted by Antonia and Blaise. Come for Rob’s “piercing couture” and stay for college discounts, cyborg-themed decadence, Automaton Tunes, anime porn, and a floor show!
Paddles 250 W 26St, basement, between 7th and 8th Ave
Students With Valid ID: $10, Members: $25, Non-Members: $35
You are all set to go to a Friday night play party… But what are you going to wear? Join Rob and friends for a demo that Combines piercing and fashion. We will cover the basics, demonstrate some techniques, and then show off our hot couture. Please join us for this very special pre-party meeting, where TNG will be handing us the reins. And don’t forget to stay for the TES Annual College Night Party, one of the hottest play parties of the year.
Paddles, 250 W 26St, basement, between 7th and 8th Ave
$10 student special with valid ID!
TES-TiNG is coming up to visit us at Conversio Virium It’s an honor for CV to host TES-TiNG, TES’s group for young adults, aged 35 and under. This is also a chance for us at CV to network with the rest of the New York City kink community. From the TES-TiNG calendar announcement:
Join us at 7 PM at the Chelsea Gallery Restaurant (72 7th Avenue between 14th and 15th Street) for dinner, coffee, and/or a snack. Ask for “TES” at the diner. Then at around 8 PM we’ll head up to Columbia University to attend a Conversio Virium meeting, Columbia/NYC’s Student BDSM Discussion Group
Come one, come all to 303 Hamilton for a panel discussion, moderated by Blaise. TES-TiNG, TES’s group for young adults, aged 35 and under, will be dropping by for a visit. Together, we will tackle questions of purpose and identity. Why are young adults a special interest group? What can we offer? Where can we improve? Why did I choose head a BDSM Education Group when I should have been studying for my GREs? In what ways are Conversio Virium and TES-TiNG important to the wider BDSM community?
Sex and money are a potent combination. From prostitution to financial domination, stripping to pornography, and mistresses to sugar daddies, the sex trade is rich with power, paradox and archetype. We’ll discuss venues for experimentation, risks and rewardsâ€”including how to indulge your fantasies without throwing away your partner, Columbia education, or a clean bill of health. Join us, in 303 Hamilton, to talk about why money’s hot and how to play with it in roleplay and reality.
In addition we will also be creating Membership Cards at the beginning of the meeting for any and all eligible persons who do not already have one.
If you have not seen Lolita present, you should definitely attend this event.
Where: The LGBT Center at 203 West 13th Street between 7th and 8th Avenues
Cost: $5 for members, $10 for non-members (Be sure to renew your LSM membership for 2008!)
Youâ€™ve seen it in the movies: a romantic evening, a room lit warmly by candlelight… Well, LSM is ready to show you how to take that â€œdateâ€ to the next level with our presenter Lolita Wolf and Wax to the Max. Watch and learn (and maybe experience it for yourself) as Lolita takes us through the safe and sexy ways to play with wax. Not to be missed!
As always, if you would like to volunteer to post more LSM events to the CV website, please let us know.
Patricia Johnson, Mark Michaels, and Selina Fire‘s monthly gathering of the diverse pleasure-positive communities in New York City is meeting again this month. From the invitation:
For a Pleasure Activist, every day is Mardi Gras!
The Pleasure Salon has been created to build community, allowing sex-positive activists to cross-pollinate. Our gatherings bring together members of the BDSM, swinger, alternative gender, LGBT, sex-activist, nudist, sex-magic, polyamory, Pagan, radical faerie, tantra, dark odyssey, sex-blogger, porn, pervert and sex-worker communities, and others whose passion is sex. (Let us know if we missed any one of you!) Through building networks in the sex-positive community, The Pleasure Salon hopes to help create a sex-positive world. It is a place for the open exchange of ideas and sensual expression.
Pleasure Salon is also announcing discounted rates to the Dark Odyssey Winter Fire event that’s upcoming in March for all registered Pleasure Salon attendees. Registration is free and easy. Just sign up for their event invitation list when you get your name tag at the Pleasure Salon you attend.
Pleasure Salon members are eligible for a Dark Odyssey group discount. Go to DarkOdyssey.com and enter “Pleasure Salon” when you register.
Kyle’s back in town and, as we’ve all come to expect, has brought along his boots. This week he will demonstrate basic boot-blacking techniques and what makes this leather boy practice so hot. Extra points if you wear a pair to the meeting.
A surprising and heartening announcement from The Eulenspiegel Society is making the rounds. It’s good to see an important organization like TES trying to understand what it does right, what it does wrong, and how it can improve:
To all TES members, past, present and future and all BDSM community members,
This Tuesday, February 12, 2008, The Eulenspiegel Society (TES) is embarking on a bold undertaking. Since itâ€™s inception in 1971, TES has prided itself on being innovative, open-minded and progressive. It is unfortunate that it may not still be perceived that way. In a move to continue to provide the bold, provocative guidance and insight that allowed this organization to be the oldest, largest BDSM support and education group in the hemisphere, we are seeking to look introspectively. We seek to do a self analysis, with those who love TES for what it has been, and what it can be, and those who donâ€™t love TES, for the same reasons. We will do this in the form of a forum entitled, â€œWhatâ€™s Wrong With TES, or, How Can the Best Get Better?â€ In this forum we wish to discuss how The Eulenspiegel Society can keep current, stay relevant and continue to be a beacon in the BDSM community. In addition to discussing problems and shortcomings, we wish to entertain solutions and ideas. These ideas are critical, not just to the continued survival of TES, but to the BDSM community at large, as many of our community groups have been suffering with similar issues. We will be discussing Issues such as maintaining relevance in the age of the Internet, recruitment and retention of volunteers, developing mentors, eliminating predators, community outreach and activism.
Sir Guy, who will be moderating the discussion, has also set up an email address so that people can voice their opinions anonymously:
We understand that there may be those who are a bit apprehensive about speaking in public. To this end, a special e-mail address has been provided. The only person to have access to this account is Sir Guy, a TES Board Member and moderator for the discussion. You can maintain your anonymity if you so desire. The e-mail address is: firstname.lastname@example.org. Please feel free to participate in what is sure to be a lively discussion. Itâ€™s important to us all.
This weekend, DJ Lucien, DJ Ash and friends are hosting the monthly synthi-sexy BYTE Party, this month in celebration of a cyberpunk-themed Valentine’s Day.
$5 for fetish divas, creative goths, cyberpunks, material girls, fashionistas, alternative sexiness, and anyone who can leave their inhibitions at home! $10 for all black, $15 all else. 21 and over pleaseâ€¦no exceptions! Make an effort, let yourself go!
Drink Specials: $5 vodka Red Bulls. $5 Bloodbaths. $6 Bud & kamikaze shot.
Are you being forced to choose between permanent student loans and a boring nine-to-five? How about standing on tiptoes to avoid the tug of nipple clamps? When either/or isn’t much of an option, you’ve got yourself a predicament. Join Dov as he teaches us the basic concepts and simple setups that lead to complicated choices.
The Fed Bash is Columbia University’s annual celebration of mayhem and debauchery. This year, we’ve given it a futuristic twist; sadistic cyborgs, aliens, and sexbots, don your favourite silver lamÃ© jumpsuit and come show your support! There’ll be live bands, DJs, burlesque, Latin dance, drunken co-eds, and a special CV performance!
Lerner Party Space; $5 to get in, 2 IDs to drink, $3 beer!
Important: If you don’t have a valid Columbia/Barnard ID, you must RSVP to attend this event. You can RSVP by commenting here or by emailing us at email@example.com. We promise, you won’t be disappointed.
CV will be tabling for the first time at Glass House Rocks this year. Glass House Rocks is a party that takes over every floor and room of Alfred Lerner Hall, which is free and open to all with a valid CUID. Free cocktails for those over 21 with 2 valid pieces of ID.
Find our table on the 2nd floor of Lerner Hall and play some kinky games with us.
Jeff Mach is at it once again with his annual Wicked Winter Renaissance Faire. Join perverts, rennies, pirates, ninjas, gamers, and friends for a weekend of Lovecraft-inspired mayhem. Quothe the web site:
Who’ll discover the secrets needed to unlock the tombs of Those Who Cannot Die? What’ll happen if they do…and who will be Eaten First? Which side will it be the Pirates? The Knights? Rebellious Squires? One of the warring Ninja clans? Secretly-evil Barmaids? (Actually, I didn’t think that was terribly much of a secret.) Perhaps it will be teams of former enemies, made into strange bedfellows by strange, strange times. The Villagers are frantically pretending that nothing-at-all-out-of-the-ordinary-is-going-on-really-truly… some with more success than others… so as not to disturb the Revels. We have a feeling that won’t quite work. The visitors will probably figure out what’s going on; the tentacles, for one thing, are a bit of a dead giveaway. Perhaps some of the visitors will even decide to take part. After all, who wants to miss the End of the World?
It is an oft-cited criticism of the BDSM scene: “It’s too hard to meet women!” Indeed, many men feel that their attempts at engaging members of the opposite sex are consistently unsuccessful. It’s unfortunate that when something isn’t working, many men simply try to do more of the same. If asking ten women to let him rub their feet didn’t work, he’ll just try asking another fifty, thinking one of them will eventually acquiesce. Sadly, this just doesn’t work.
Thankfully, DomSubFriends is hosting a presentation all about meeting and playing with people in the scene called (appropriately enough), “Why can’t I meet someone?”. Thomas, aka Shibari Warrior is presenting this topic specifically for men who have trouble finding play partners:
Frustrated on why you cant meet anyone in the scene, whether to play or create a relationship? Geared primarily for males, Top/Dom or bottom/sub, the class is open to anyone who wishes to attend. The approach to the class will be a twofold concept of a book: the Book cover and the contents of the book. In the class we will discuss the problems people face and the means of overcoming them. The presenter will share his expertise from his time in the Marine Corps (the total person concept) and his current occupation in the fashion industry. If you want to make a change for the better, this is the class to attend.
In my personal experience, a few key guidelines have proven themselves to be invaluable. These are:
- Vanilla rules apply. Just as certain common-sense rules of etiquette are followed in non-kink spaces, so too must they all be followed in kink spaces. Being in a BDSM dungeon does not grant anyone the right to be rude to anyone else.
- Make conversation. Nine times out of ten, if you ask someone to play with you before you even say hello, you’re going to get turned down. Think about it: do you walk up to random women in bars and ask them to have sex with you? No, you talk to them first, you flirt. Do that in a BDSM club, too. If there’s some chemistry in the conversation first, then the apple of your eye is much more likely to say yes when you broach the topic of playing together.
- Be generous. If you get turned down, be gracious and accepting about it. On the other hand, if your offer to play is accepted, then do something you are both going to like when you play and make sure your play partner knows how much youâ€™re liking it while youâ€™re playing. If you’re topping, this means you top with enthusiasm tempered with lots of care. If you’re bottoming, this means you’re reacting to what she’s doing because, remember, she wants to be having an effect on you. I don’t think I know a single top who doesn’t like noise, or squirming, or something of the sort as long as it’s an authentic reaction and not a big phony act. Conversely, almost all of them really dislike playing with a stubbornly stoic, silent, expressionless bottom.