Floggers are part of the classic kink iconography. They’re also a lot of fun. One way to make them even more fun is simpler (and prettier) than you might think: use two! TES-TiNG is hosting Richard Cordage’s next presentation on Florentine flogging, the art of using two floggers at once. For those of you into circus arts, think kinky Poi.

Who likes to play with a flogger? If you raised your hands, be sure to drop them before someone snatches your calendar. Having one flogger is almost a must in anyone’s toy bag, but when you have a passion for your multi-tailed whips you are sometimes at a loss as to which one to use first. Instead of just using one at a time, why not pick two, three, or four? Richard Cordage will show you how he evolved his fetish for flagellation.

The monthly Submit parties are a space for women and female-identified transfolk to play, kiss, have sex, and talk to one another at a club and a party dedicated to fulfilling sex and BDSM desires. What happens at Submit parties? The web site says:

It’s really all about having big fun and satisfying your sexual and sensual fantasies and desires. You can watch all night if that’s what you want.

BDSM play from the mildest of spankings to the heaviest of scenes. Cruising, asking, and trying something or someone new. You and your date can make out in dark corners or fuck in the middle of the room. You and your friends can cruise till you all pick up that hot stranger and all go at it.

We’ll hook you up with gloves, lube, and condoms.

Thanks to ReKi of Recursive Kink for emailing to let us know about this event!

The first monthly gathering of sex bloggers, queer activists, tantra, BDSM, and other pleasure-positive communities of 2008 is happening in a new location this time, appropriately called “Revival” at 129 East 15^th Street. From the invitation:

The Pleasure Salon has been created to build community, allowing sex-positive activists to cross-pollinate. Our gatherings bring together members of the BDSM, swinger, alternative gender, LGBT, sex-activist, nudist, sex-magic, polyamory, Pagan, radical faerie, tantra, dark odyssey, sex-blogger, porn, pervert and sex-worker communities, and others whose passion is sex. (Let us know if we missed any one of you!) Through building networks in the sex-positive community, The Pleasure Salon hopes to help create a sex-positive world. It is a place for the open exchange of ideas and sensual expression.

We have been thrilled by the turnout at previous gatherings. A community of New York area Pleasure Positive folks is developing rapidly, and we hope that you will join us or continue to be part of it. Please invite your like-minded friends. In keeping with the spirit of Dark Odyssey, we encourage everyone to embrace the basic principles of respect, tolerance, acceptance, openness, and non-judgmental support.

Tonight, TES is hosting Danielle DV8′s presentation on one of the more intense sexual acts, fisting, and how it can be incorporated into a BDSM play scene, called The Ins and Outs of Fisting. From the presentation description:

Vaginal, anal, double fisting, fisting each other at the same time, lubes, enemas, relaxing your victim, scaring your victim, working a scene around fisting, restraint, safety, negotiation techniques and more!

Special thanks to Claire, who emailed me to let us know about this meeting.

Tonight at 9:00 PM is the first BYTE Party of 2008. BYTE is a monthly fetish party where you can go see some of the hottest fetish fashions of the city, or dress up to be seen. From the party promotional material:

We will be Celebrating the birthday of Father Vincent! as well as hosting the CD release party for Recording Artists, Ambassador 21 (VENDETTA MUSIC)

[…]

$5 for fetish divas, creative goths, cyberpunks, material girls, fashionistas, alternative sexiness, and anyone who can leave their inhibitions at home! $10 for all black, $15 all else. 21 and over please…no exceptions! Make an effort, let yourself go!

Drink Specials: $5 vodka Red Bulls. $5 Bloodbaths. $6 Bud & kamikaze shot.

There’s no doubt about it: BDSM is a social activity. It comes as no surprise, then, that for some people belonging to a visible community is one of the most important aspects of being “in the BDSM scene.” For some, the benefits and ideas of a community can be even further refined into the notion of a “leather family,” which can be loosely defined as a smaller, more nuclear group of individuals who share certain kinds of loyalties and affection, much like any other kind of family.

In this Friday’s presentation, DomSubFriends is hosting a panel all about building a leather family. From the presentation description:

We’ve heard many times the term folks in the SM community living in a “Leather Family.” But what does it mean, physically, emotionally and spiritually? What are the inner workings of a M/s leather family? What really goes on in a Leather household? How do they deal with jealousy, get their individual needs met, set rules, interact with the “real” world? These and many audience questions will be answered. Come early, grab and a seat and don’t miss this educational lifestyle presentation.

If I were to draw a Venn diagram showing bondage (a hugely diverse kink in itself) and medical play (another arena with incredible diversity), this meeting would show up smack dab in the middle of the space overlapping both circles. Medical restraints are, for many people, exactly what the intersection of medical play and bondage look like and—lucky folk!—there’s a ton of stuff to play with just in this niche. In fact, TES’s Bondage Group is doing an entire meeting all about Medical Restraints:

Various types of restraints from straps to straitjackets have been used to calm and protect patients throughout history. Come and explore various real medical restraints and learn how to add a new meaning to “medical play”.

This is the kind of meeting, as a bondage enthusiast, would attend to learn more about how I might branch out into a kink like medical play I’m not personally excited about. I don’t doubt that there’s probably a medical play enthusiast thinking the same thing….

Let’s talk about sex. Well, obviously, but so much of the talking we do about sex is so fundamentally elementary that it quickly becomes evident that more detail is needed. To that end, I’m really excited to see Polyamorous NYC devoting one of their monthly meetings to the topic of sex and how to have it safely, and making it relevant for those living a polyamorous lifestyle. From the email announcement:

[W]e are very excited to have Morpheus, a nationally recognized sex-educator and safe sex expert facilitating our meeting on the topic of “Polyamory and Safer Sex”. He will be speaking about the in’s and outs of safer-sex and polyamory. Please join us for this exciting, first ever meeting on this topic.

The TES Dominant Women and Submissive Men SIG is hosting Lolita Wolf, self-described activist, educator, and author, as well as nationally-recognized and honored BDSM’er for many, many years, to share what she knows about cock and ball torture (CBT):

Grab him by the balls and he will follow you anywhere. We’ll cover the psychological and physical ins and outs of the family jewels. Learn to safely control your man through the torments of bondage, pain and other sensations. Lolita is the author of “CBT In A Nutshell” and will have books/DVDs with her to sell and sign.

TES’s general attendance meeting this Tuesday is all about Titillating Tit Torture, being presented by Goddess Roze:

From nipple clamps to clothespins to teeth, there are endless possibilities to tantalize tits and nipples. Goddess Roze, who has a particular fascination with this line of play, will help you get a handle on tit torture and nipple play, using a variety of devices, both purposeful an improvised. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

Hmm. A Tuesday TES meeting talking of titillating tit tortures? Why, all they’re missing is tea. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

A new poly-friendly gathering has started and could be lots of fun. Hosted on Monday nights at 7 PM on the border of SoHo, just be sure to get to CV on time if you do want to attend.

Come and bring your wife, husband, girlfriends, boyfriends and theirs and meet like-minded people. If you consider yourself polyamorous or to be in an open relationship, or are considering this loving and progressive way of life, you are invited to come and get advice and support, have some drinks and laughs, and build our community. To be added to the mailing list, or if you have any questions, please contact polyhour@gmail.com. Occurs on the second Monday of every month at Madame X at 94 West Houston Street (between LaGuardia Place and Thompson).

This Wednesday Mistress Ardenne from RaptureNYC, a professional dominatrix, visits the TES Novice Group for a meeting simply titled Talk with a Professional Dominatrix:

The mysterious Pro Domme…. Many times we see her at a club or event and just wish we could have a few moments of her time, to ask her the many questions we have. Well…your wait if over. We are thrilled to bring you the lovely and talented Mistress Ardenne, from one of the top NYC Dungeons, “RaptureNYC” to do just that. We’ll be finding out the real inside story about professional domination. What kind of person goes to a Pro Domme? How does a Pro session differ from Lifestyle play? What are these Dommes really like? And…why you’ll wind up quickly being thrown the door if you don’t understand the etiquette of this world. Come armed with your questions—all will be revealed!

Though I’m wary of the obvious hype, I can personally vouch that Mistress Ardenne has done at least one spectacular presentation for TES before and I’m sure she’ll have a lot of interesting things to say. My only advice is the same for this meeting as it would be for a doctor’s appointment: don’t blindly believe everything you hear, and always get a second opinion.

Everybody looks better in a harness. At this month’s GMSMA meeting, learn how to tie a great rope harness on your boy or go get yourself a pretty new accessory to your birthday suit.

Truss up your boy with a great looking rope body harness. A rope body harness is easy to learn and your boy will not want to get out of it! Our presenter will show you how easy it is and the fun in doing it.

Did we mention that harnesses are infinitely useful, too? Just think of all the perfect attachment points they have.

So-called “gut” feelings and other kinds of “hunches” have long been thought to be silly, nonsensical things our bodies do when we’re nervous or unsure about something. Most of the time, we try to push them away and don’t listen but Danielle DV8, a practicing Zen Buddhist and self-described lifestyle submissive, Domina, and (consensually) owned slave for many years, thinks intuition plays an important part of good decision-making. She is presenting her take on Lifestyle Intuition at DomSubFriends this Friday. From the presentation description:

The exploration of what intuition is, the difference between feelings and thoughts (including paranoid thoughts and projection), how to practice identifying intuition, how to apply intuition to decisions and how to build faith in your ability to do all this.

This is a powerful, interactive clinic that has a goal of improving decision making by applying intuitive information. This is especially helpful for singles, newbies to the leather lifestyle, those with patterns of poor choices (partners, jobs, investments, etc.), those with insecurities (all of us), and those that wish to fine tune their intuitive abilities.