CV Special Event: Glass House Rocks 2008!

February 7, 2008 9:00 PMtoFebruary 8, 2008 1:00 AM

CV will be tabling for the first time at Glass House Rocks this year. Glass House Rocks is a party that takes over every floor and room of Alfred Lerner Hall, which is free and open to all with a valid CUID. Free cocktails for those over 21 with 2 valid pieces of ID.

Find our table on the 2nd floor of Lerner Hall and play some kinky games with us.

Jeff Mach’s 2008 Wicked Winter Renaissance Lovecraftian Pirate Ninja Faire

February 8, 2008
5:30 PM

Jeff Mach is at it once again with his annual Wicked Winter Renaissance Faire. Join perverts, rennies, pirates, ninjas, gamers, and friends for a weekend of Lovecraft-inspired mayhem. Quothe the web site:

Who’ll discover the secrets needed to unlock the tombs of Those Who Cannot Die? What’ll happen if they do…and who will be Eaten First? Which side will it be the Pirates? The Knights? Rebellious Squires? One of the warring Ninja clans? Secretly-evil Barmaids? (Actually, I didn’t think that was terribly much of a secret.) Perhaps it will be teams of former enemies, made into strange bedfellows by strange, strange times. The Villagers are frantically pretending that nothing-at-all-out-of-the-ordinary-is-going-on-really-truly… some with more success than others… so as not to disturb the Revels. We have a feeling that won’t quite work. The visitors will probably figure out what’s going on; the tentacles, for one thing, are a bit of a dead giveaway. Perhaps some of the visitors will even decide to take part. After all, who wants to miss the End of the World?

DSF Meeting: “Why can’t I meet someone?” with Shibari Warrior

February 8, 2008
8:45 PMto10:45 PM

It is an oft-cited criticism of the BDSM scene: “It’s too hard to meet women!” Indeed, many men feel that their attempts at engaging members of the opposite sex are consistently unsuccessful. It’s unfortunate that when something isn’t working, many men simply try to do more of the same. If asking ten women to let him rub their feet didn’t work, he’ll just try asking another fifty, thinking one of them will eventually acquiesce. Sadly, this just doesn’t work.

Thankfully, DomSubFriends is hosting a presentation all about meeting and playing with people in the scene called (appropriately enough), “Why can’t I meet someone?”. Thomas, aka Shibari Warrior is presenting this topic specifically for men who have trouble finding play partners:

Frustrated on why you cant meet anyone in the scene, whether to play or create a relationship? Geared primarily for males, Top/Dom or bottom/sub, the class is open to anyone who wishes to attend. The approach to the class will be a twofold concept of a book: the Book cover and the contents of the book. In the class we will discuss the problems people face and the means of overcoming them. The presenter will share his expertise from his time in the Marine Corps (the total person concept) and his current occupation in the fashion industry. If you want to make a change for the better, this is the class to attend.

In my personal experience, a few key guidelines have proven themselves to be invaluable. These are:

  1. Vanilla rules apply. Just as certain common-sense rules of etiquette are followed in non-kink spaces, so too must they all be followed in kink spaces. Being in a BDSM dungeon does not grant anyone the right to be rude to anyone else.
  2. Make conversation. Nine times out of ten, if you ask someone to play with you before you even say hello, you’re going to get turned down. Think about it: do you walk up to random women in bars and ask them to have sex with you? No, you talk to them first, you flirt. Do that in a BDSM club, too. If there’s some chemistry in the conversation first, then the apple of your eye is much more likely to say yes when you broach the topic of playing together.
  3. Be generous. If you get turned down, be gracious and accepting about it. On the other hand, if your offer to play is accepted, then do something you are both going to like when you play and make sure your play partner knows how much you’re liking it while you’re playing. If you’re topping, this means you top with enthusiasm tempered with lots of care. If you’re bottoming, this means you’re reacting to what she’s doing because, remember, she wants to be having an effect on you. I don’t think I know a single top who doesn’t like noise, or squirming, or something of the sort as long as it’s an authentic reaction and not a big phony act. Conversely, almost all of them really dislike playing with a stubbornly stoic, silent, expressionless bottom.